Ty Gill's blog

i feel like writing today...

i feel like writing today...

its freezing in here. the window guy came in today to fix the windows, but didnt get really far...i still feel a draft. Im gettin the itch to move from here..to many issues. Im not feeling it anymore.

If i do move there are two options..i can move into my great-aunts place (if my uncle hooks it up) or I can wait to see if i qualify for this affordable house place. I would love the affordable housing option because it would be in MY name, and just the place in general is stuff dreams are made of..Door man building, gym and laundry on premises...DOWNTOWN. Everything ive always wanted...now. And for $550 a month.

Troi told me 2 days ago she wants to move out, which wouldnt be a problem because she was never here anyway. Its the funds she provided that would really impact me living here.

Either way i need to get proactive. Its already the 6th and she has till the end of the month.

Im feeling a little down too...as much as i try to distract myself i still miss PJ. He is always on my mind, in my heart. I think of him every minute. Things i still want to share with him and see how hes doing. It hurts...A LOT.

What hurts even more then that is how he turned so cold on me overnight. I just cant understand...i could never do that to someone. I would have never done that to him. But...time to move on. I have a date tomorrow with a Turkish kid I met on CL. Sounds like a nice guy, dont know if it will be a perfect match, but its great to have someone to take my mind off things.

QotD: Sound Off

Nails on a chalkboard, TV static, the alarm clock... What noise annoys you most?

Fabrics rubbing together...or jus anything rubbing against fabric...OMG just even thinking of it makes me cringe.

That..

And my cat playing with a piece of paper, or plastic in the middle of the night when im trying to sleep OMG...HATE IT!!!

QotD: Fame or Respect?

Would you prefer fame or respect? Why?

Respect...because the way the question is implying, the way your famous is not respectable. Like Monica Lewinsky...Famous, but that fame isn't going to get her anywhere. She cant be credited for any accomplishments with out going back to her giving blowies in the oval office.

So Respect...and money =)

QotD: Thanks to Technology…

What are things you can do today because of technology that you couldn't do five years ago?
Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.

Surf the web on my phone without it taking a million years. Updating my facebook without a computer...and playing cool games thru the site too.

I....Feel...Ugly.

This is the 4th time its happened. I start talking to someone I I'm attracted to...and Poof! Theyre gone. Disappear from my life either with notice, or without. This last one spoke to me all night on aim, and then, the next day...I'm blocked.

Is this Karma in its truest for coming back to haunt me?

People say I look better with weight on me, but i dont see it, all i see in every picture is STOMACH. or is it my face? Maybe guys are attracted to my body, but looking into my face is the one thing that draws the line.

Either way, i havent been on ONE successful date with someone i like...in fact i havent been on one official date period. I dont kno what to do anymore. Should I use this as fuel for my fire? Maybe. But instead im just going to be depressed about it for a couple days. What makes me even more mad at myself is that i LOST weight...i DID it, and i just gained it right back...in 2 months i put 20lbs back on. 

What makes me madder is that i have 2 major things going on in my life...and THIS is the thing im focused on. 

Today Troi had the baby...Desmond Michael Jennings. He looks JUST like her. He weighed 7 pounds and something ounces and so far so good. When i was there i didnt hear him cry once. Not even whimper. 

and on a sad note... DJ got arrested and wont be comming home for a LONG time. He was charged with attempted murder and robbery, He was caught up in yonkers in a van, and the cops say that some guys and him would jump out and rob people with a bat. One guy was beat up so badly hes in the ICU right now...and it breaks my heart because hes only 16 years old and hes facing this shit. Im even more mad that he would think doing something so violent to ANYONE is ok. Everyone tried talking to him...Everyone tried stearing him from the streets, but he was chasing a dream no one else can understand. I hope he didnt do it...but if he did, he deserves what ever they give him. NOTHING excuses that. Theyre is no way to defend it...and i love him, but i hope they punish him for almost KILLING someone.

So...what do i do? Do i start starving myself? Do i get back on meds just because they made me skinny? I dont know...All i know is, i feel like shit...and theres no light at the end of this tunnel.

I got a feeling...That tonights gonna be a good night!

Ty's Culo Slide

This was from the other night, We were supposed to go see LMFAO in concert but they were carding and Victoria didnt have her sisters ID (Victoria is 20 until November) Sooo we decided to switch it up, sold the tickets, and went out in LES instead...met up with Mike at his job and he hooked us up with some Banana wine, and after we met up with Anthony and Muddy...well after a few beers with them this is what we go into lol

QotD: TV Star

Have you (or someone you're close to) ever been on television?

couple times, most memorable was TRL though lol George broke up with me, and so i took to MTV to get my revenge! Right after sending in my request for KoRn Freak on a Leash I shouted "You suck Geo! u Suck!!!" classic.

money money money

i need it. i just borrowed money AGAIN. $310 from my dad, and $300 from Paul jus so i can make ends meet at the BEGINNING of the month.

Its kept me up at night.

It even haunts me during the day.

Im not surviving right now, and it sucks so bad, i feel like a faliure. I set out to be on my own, be the strong independant woman, with my shit together, but here i am running back to Paul for loans we both know im not paying back for YEARS.

right now im contemplating the idea of cleaning houses on the side with Tiffani. We both need the money in our pocket badly. The only thing im afraid of is the fact that when ever i get a good idea like this to make money nothing ever materializes out of it. But at this point i cant afford not to. I need some revenue. My clothes are all faded, my shoes are begining to fall apart. My hair is looking lifeless, the roots have grown about 4 inches since my last dye job. 

It time to be proactiv.

I got a call back for a resume, but im going through the circles of the interview process right now, i called this guy 3 times, and im not sure if he wants me or not, Its already sounding like a bad relationship. BUT its 40 hours a week, even if they pay me what im already making ill be set for rent in one weeks check. I cant even get that with 2 weeks at west elm now. 

in fact imma post a ad on craigslist now for the cleaning service, doesnt hurt to try right?

QotD: The Qualities of a Good Friend

Honesty and dependability.

My best friend has one down packed. She will tell me if im being a bitch, or my breath stinks. I can count on her for that.

Dependability goes in and out for her. She has anxiety so when ever i make plans with her and shes not ALREADY with me, i cant always depend on her to come....or when i do leave her in my house and i go to work, she ALWAYS use to make sure it was clean when i got home, some days...not so much.

I love her with all my heart, Any big decision in my life i may have to make i always factor her in, right after my dogs and cat, its where her and her son will fit in the equation. Might suck for my future husband though, he has to understand were a package deal lol

sooo...

i havent updated in a while, i have become a total new person. I'm working, got my own place, doing the responsible thing, living the single life. Almost every weekend i have friends over to drink and play guitar hero, and during the week im a slave to west elm.

my love life is pretty up in the air. Dating is not my forte. I cant get a guy to to keep interest in me for more then 10 seconds, and its not even like im giving it up too soon, or anything like that. i dont even get to that stage lol i dont get a second date!!! 

i dont know what else to say...

as for my update today i met a girl on the way to the train after she noticed i was wearing a beatles bag...mad kool chick named Belle...i hope to see her again soon, cuz meeting such a kool person in the morning made my day.