Ty Gill's blog

my dads 50th birthday...

i killed myself, for nothing. he didn't show up for his special dinner until 2am.

brief update...

ever since ive started working ive become a diffrent person. I'm happier, i've lost 15 pounds and im dressing better. Everything else has taken a back seat though, Since i started working in the beginning of august i didnt get layed until HALLOWEEN (Me and stove top met up in my co worker antoinettes house, she was nice enough to let us borrow the apartment for the night, and we had sex 8 times in total)

lately Its all been about working and making money. I've been spending it too, but im happy that i can do what i want with it. its mine!

I'm still living with Paul. Madeline has been telling me for the past 5 months that the process with the apartment is almost done, but yeah its been 6 months in total. the living room here is packed with furniture, and other things ive gotten accumilated.

At work there is a guy ive been flirting back and forth with his name is Jonathan...we pretty much mess around when no one is around. nothing serious we havent even REALLY kissed. I flashed him a boob and ive seen the tip of his penis but thats about it lol

Taalib continues to call me and leave messages but i dont really respond, i think about him all the time, but im not ready to let him back into my life.

I met up with dorianna last weekend me troi jackie michelle and her friend went out...

ummm i have half a eyebrow (salon mishap)

and a patch of hair burnt off (flat iron mishap)

im a bit restless now so thats why im just typing away not really saying anything.

ive been sleeping alot, some days 15 hours on my days off...either means 2 things 1)i need to up my medication or 2) im pregnant...im REALLY hoping for the first one because i DEFINATLY dont want the second. especially with stovetop omg. id die! his nickname is STOVETOP.

Vox Hunt: On My Wish List

Show us something you want, but would never spend the money to buy.

i wouldnt say NEVER...but its my dream TO buy it...i jus dont have the money now lol

Loft

QotD: If I Could Turn Back Time

If you could change a moment in history, which one would you alter and why?

I wouldnt have went away the weekend my mother got really sick. She told me she was sick, and i didnt think anything of it. i wish i would have stayed with her and made sure she went to the hospital. If i did, maybe she would still be here.

i cant help but be sad...

I have been doing really well. I started my job which i LOVE. i laugh all day and I'm with people like ME. were into alot of diffrent things, art, music, culture...mostly all the guys are gay (i would say 99%) and all the girl are beautiful so its a very stimulating environment. The hours are killing me though, its been a while since ive had to be somewhere at 9, and i dont have anything to wear so its been really stressful.

My apartment is coming along slowly but surely. They found another place to move into, but now i have to go through finding a roomate because the 2 people who were supposed to be moving in with me (Troi and Maggie) backed out at the last minute.

and although those two things are really good...im also really lonely. i feel like i NEED a man. and its pathetic, but i wanna share this with someone, that someone in paticular is Taalib but we got into a huge argument the day i left to take tiffani to south carolina (and thats another reason im sad) and he said alot of hurtful things, i did too but it was only out of frustration.

I lost him to someone else, and i know that. my ego is hurt cuz after fighting it for so long i actually let him in.

i just hate that things got so complicated.

i think id jus be content with any attention really. from someone i like.

i went on a date the other night that i really shouldnt have. i dont like this dude like that, hes more of a friend status, but i guess i kinda led him on and now i dont know what to do. hes annoying me, hitting me up 10 times a day ugh =/ wish it was Taalib lol

yea and me and taalib

yea and me and taalib had the mega blow out today....i told him i found someone else. didnt end well. He basicly told me good luck wit him and yea, he was a total douche. One day ur up, the next ur down. Thata jus how life goes. Right now were on the road takin tiffs family down to south carolina. Im afraid my pops is gonna fall esleep at the wheel =\ if i dont write after this he prolly did lol but yea i feel like cryin. Im not though. Not yet.

I hate men. He didnt

I hate men. He didnt say goodbye, and he jus was actin type weird. Ill get over it soon enough though. He was a empty vessel

The wackness. Lol i did

The wackness. Lol i did something bad too...i trusted this kid wit my life. Im really disappointed in myself.

Patiently waiting, for u to

Patiently waiting,
for u to enter me,
salavating,
at the thought of u salavating over me,
on me,
inside of me.
So good at the head game u got mine spinning,
becoming wet wit jus the thought of us sinning.

Lusting, craving, my stomach is

Lusting,
craving,
my stomach is tight with the pain of desire.
Waiting,
needing,
the person who will torch this fire.
Uncertainty ringing clear,
so far yet so near,
i want him.
Wondering if he wants me.
Wondering if hes thought of me.
My eyes burn,
my thighs yern...
I want him.
I cant shake the feeling,
i wont dare to try,
not until were face to face,
eye to eye.